A Life in Balance Day #11 (Walkers and Peace)

There are times when we become our own idols or god and our lives get thrown out of balance.  There are times when the good gifts God gives us become our idols.  The good gifts become what our hearts and minds rely on.  The Israelite people took all of the gold and melted it down to create something for them to worship.  They created a golden calf they believed they could rely on.  They created a golden calf they could attribute all of the good things to. Things like being released from slavery.

I don’t have enough gold to melt down and create anything but I have been given good gifts from God.  My hubby is one of those good gifts.  He is one of those good gifts I turn into an idol.  I turn him into the thing that my heart clings to.  He becomes the one I look to make everything okay.  He becomes the one I look to for balance and peace.  When I do that life gets WAY out of balance.

When I do that life gets crazy.  When I turn my husband into my god life gets out of balance and I turn into a hot mess during a scheduled surgery for my husband.

In January my hubby had his hip replaced.  It was a scheduled surgery.  It was something he needed done.  And no I’m not married to a 75 year old man.  He is a young candidate for hip replacement.  A long family history of arthritis and lots of football and wrestling is apparently hard on a body.

I’m not a person to think things through before I jump head long into them.  In my world thinking about something for a long time is about 24 hours and hopefully 8 of those hours I am sleeping.  I didn’t even think about what life would look like for a family with 4 kids, an 80 lb lab, and a husband recovery from hip surgery.  It was a fairly stressful situation.  The 975 snow days we had during that 4 week period didn’t help either.  Yet on the other hand I am pretty used to chaos at this point.

The hardest part of this whole situation was watching my 37 year old husband that I depend on for so much use a walker. The man that my heart clings to and the one I confide in use a walker. He is the one who can save us from burning buildings, carry all the heavy things, blow all the snow and holds my whole world together.

I did not realize until I watched him wheeled up in a hospital bed.  Left the hospital by myself to take care for the kids at home.  Brought him home and watched him waddle around our home with a walker for two weeks that I had placed my husband in a place he was never intended to be.

My hubby is great.  I will say that over and over again.  My hubby is a good gift BUT he was never intended to be my god.  As you read that you are probably thinking…well duh.  My husband being my god does not look like me bowing down or doing all the things he wants me to do.  My husband being my god looks like me going to him to find where my righteousness is.  My husband being my god looks like confiding in him and never in prayer. 

There is a healthy dependence that a wife has on a husband and a husband on a wife.  God intended us to be together that’s why we are together.  God intended for two people to life, work, and love together.  There is also an unhealthy dependence when a spouse places a god like expectation their loved one.  When they look to their spouse to be the person they look to for all the goodness of life.  Whey they expect their spouse to be their everything.

It took me watching him walk around the house with a walker to realize that I had placed him in the place of god instead of my hubby.  I had given him unrealistic expectations.  I had made him into something that was suppose to serve me and save me.

Who are you looking for for righteousness?

I was completely off balance.  I was losing my ever living mind.  Life felt a little crumbly because of a planned, needed surgery, that when exceptionally well.  It can seem a little off or unconventional to think that we take the good gifts of God and turn them into idols. 

Remember that list we made when we started this study?  The list of all the things we do.  Each of those things is probably connected to serving someone.  It may be serving ourselves like exercise or eating healthy or it may be washing kids clothes and serving our kids.  All of these things on that list can be ways we look to justify ourselves.  All of the people we serve on that list can become our gods.  We can look to them to find peace and confidence or for affirmation that we are doing it right.  We look find peace, to find our all rightness.  We look to them for our righteousness.

All of those things we do are good things.  All of those people we serve are good gifts yet they were not meant to be what our heart clings to for our all rightness.  Our hearts are not mean to cling to how clean our homes are.  Our hearts are not meant to cling to how well behaved our kids are.  Those things are not what our hearts are meant to cling to for our righteousness. 

Our hearts are meant to cling to Christ.  We are meant to look to and cling to him to know that we are alright.  We are meant to look and cling to Him for righteousness.  In Christ is where our righteousness if found.

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